15 UNMISSABLE AMSTERDAM PUBS, BARS, BOOZERS & DRINKING DENS
I moved to Amsterdam on June 1, 2016. In honour of my seven-year anniversary, which is but a two-day away, I have compiled this list of some of my favourite Amsterdam watering holes. May it please you.
Beer. The cause of, and solution to … something something.
Micro-brewery, comedy venue, social enterprise. Killer beef stew. I loved it immediately, when I’d just arrived in 2016 and was still leeching wifi all over town. It’s like a big old designer beer barn that’s always full of friendly people and gezelligheid by the barrel-load. I’m talking about the one in the centre by the way, where the action is. De Prael also features prominently in The Amsterdam Good Murder Guide. It’s that good.
Monkeys & sailors & legends & more monkeys…
In the 1600s, sailors came here and traded monkeys for alcohol. But the monkeys went ape and had to be murdered. Some were eaten. Some stuffed. Maybe. There are many stories bound up in this mysterious old wooden house. If only those poor old stuffed monkeys could talk. But they can’t. They’re stuffed.
Equal parts pub, museum & magical monkey ghost-house.
Here be poets and pints, stained glass and very special seating areas…
This opened for business just a few months after the Nazis rolled into town and occupied the city in May 1940. The owner, John Eylders (yes, it’s spelled differently) organised underground activities from the bar and was arrested twice for Resistance-related activities. The pub fell out of fashion in the late ‘60s but these days, thankfully, the artists have returned. Every third Sunday of the month is Poetry Afternoon. Make a date. Or avoid like the plague. As you see fit.
Great bitterballen. Great windows. Great anti-Nazi heritage.
HET ELFDE GEBOD / LOCATION
This place brings beermats to a whole new level…
Quirky, charming, old-fashioned brown boozer with a ridiculously wide range of beer. One online reviewer complained: “Friendly staff, lots of beers but carpets on some of the tables.” Wrong. Friendly staff, lots of beers AND carpets on some of the tables. Only two doors up from In ‘t Aepjen, and in case you were wondering, which I sincerely hope you were, it means The Eleventh Commandment. And we all know what that is.
Bet van Beeren, Zeedijk….
First gay-friendly bar in the world. Apparently. Great atmosphere. Another museum-type pub full of stuff. One of my absolute favourites. Really. I’ve had some of my nicest times in Amsterdam, or maybe even ever, in this very bar. Also featured, in a pivotal scene, in The Amsterdam Good Murder Guide. Just saying. Just planting seeds.
Imagine it if the sun was shining too…
Appropriately tiny little brown bar dating back to the 1780s and one of the best canalside pubs in the city. If you get a good seat outside on a warm day, you may never leave.
By far the nicest bar on a street full of hellholes…
A sophisticated establishment with Art Deco light fittings, painted nymphs, and a whole lot of stuffed birds. Fancy, friendly, fun.
Plus, lest we forget: tAGMuG 5.19.
Lovely modern micro-brewery and pub in the shadow of one of Amsterdam’s nine remaining windmills. Once here I was accosted by a bunch of drunken Italian tourists who mistook me for Sting.
One of the best buildings in the world. It’s like a fairy tale.
Wives waved goodbye to their sailor husbands here in the 1600s. Today lots of people get married here, but it's not obligatory. Wonderful canal views. On pretty much any day.
My mum would be physically repulsed by the dust in this place. I’d love to see it.
Insanely small, incredibly dusty, utterly unique. “Open every day from 16:00 till 01:00,” says their website. “Closed Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.” Classic. If you’re lucky enough to find a seat, the music is always great and it’s just a lovely place to relax and soak up the past.
Live music most nights. Usually less than a fiver to get in. (Fifty to get out.) (Joke.)
Great live music venue. Mostly cover bands, so great for drunken sing- and dance-alongs. Start at Cafe Eijlders next door, end the night here in a pool of sweat.
Home of Rock and Metal in Amsterdam. Look at this fucker! If that’s what you’re into, you probably already know about The Cave. Go there. Do your thing. Don’t get brain damage.
Gobsmacking, uniquely beautiful little summer venue…
If you’re looking for an unforgettable setting, this is the place. Check out the website. A phenomenal space, in the sun, and by the moon. Particularly great on summer afternoons. But then what isn’t?
Another lovely old Dutch bar for people-watching and passing the time of day…
Great old bar in an old distillery in the centre. Menu features 250+ beers, and some excellent pub snacks. Nice mussels.
The first place I visited on my first day in the Netherlands, June 1st, 2016. I sat out front with my rucksack and wondered what would happen next…
Possibly the city’s oldest pub, definitely the most convenient, just opposite Central Station. The perfect place for a final, tearful goodbye to Amsterdam…
Cheers.
