My name is Karl Webster and this is my website. If it has an unfinished air about it, this is almost certainly due to the fact that it's not finished. There's still an awful lot to do. That banner's got to go for a start. And where are these goddamn guides?

Easy now. Pretty soon though, you will find fortnightly 'How to'-style guides as well as surprisingly regular film reviews, sadly seldom interviews with interesting people about important things and lots of stuff that excites me a great deal and therefore, you never know - you never, never know - may excite you too. There will also be a fortnightly newsletter that will feature personal words that will not appear anywhere else. You should sign up for that below. I'll be self-publishing a handful of books later this year if you want to know the truth, so I'm growing a list. It's the done thing. And it makes sense. So do sign up, and I promise I'll do my best to make it a pleasurable experience. Because I love you. 

Everything split into manageable chunks

The Guides

Maybe you already know how to complain, apologise, defeat the Nazis and get off an escalator. But do you know how to cure back pain, defeat sociopaths, defeat silverfish, fall in love and achieve immortality? Well, I do. Don't ask me how. Just say yes.


In Amsterdam, where I live, there is something called Cineville, which allows me - for a trifling €19 a month - to go to the cinema as much as I like. So I go a lot. And I write about it - not just the films but the whole experience. If you love films, Yul Brynner. Join me.​

The Blog

I've been keeping a blog for around 12 years, on and off, and you know what? I really enjoy it. In the past, I was always hoping it would turn into something else - now I do it entirely for my own pleasure, and of course, for yours. Your pleasure is my pleasure. Step inside...


Here's where I keep all the many (both) books that I've written that I'm actually proud of. By the end of 2017, it'll be slightly more impressive. There are three more completed (or on the very cusp of completion). I shall be publishing them myself this year. This is the build-up. Check it.

Hire Me

I do copywriting of the most top rank at The Best Words Online. I specialise in words for websites but I can write whatever you'd like me to write. I also translate Italian words into English and I sometimes teach the English language to foreigners and footballers. Read more.


If you have questions, and I should hope that you do, then you should visit this page, for there are answers herein. If you don't have questions, this is still the page you need to visit, for their are questions to spare. Of course I don't claim to have all the answers, just some of them

As featured in...

These are just a handful of some of the publications and media outlets in and on which I have been featured, no matter how tenuously. Displaying them in this ostentatious manner is called 'social proof' and it is most assuredly not the behaviour of a desperate man. Look! Grazia! Oh my god, the Daily Mail. 

Here is a random selection of posts from the past few years. Dip in...

Day One #16,709
bulk :: 13st (bang on) BMI :: 24.6 gym sessions :: 1 I have of late, but wherefore I know not,[...]
Feedback Friday :: A Crack In Everything
pitches/proposals :: 2 (one on Upwork, one through a friend) positive responses :: 2 (both still pending) jobs completed :: 3 English[...]
A Lehrer, Lehrer Laughs :: Adam Kay and The Remains of Tom Lehrer
Before I went to talk Tom Lehrer with Adam Kay, ahead of his West End debut of The Remains of[...]
Feedback Friday :: Enough Already
pitches sent :: 1. I'm still in pre-ninja mode. Easy now. commissions :: 0. My rather outré approach clearly didn't work. Ah well.[...]
Day Eleven :: You can run…
Saturday 11th June. 19:50 Slept late and worked in the kitchen today. Was just washing the floor around 7pm when[...]
Canal Dreams
Today I was going to write something about Ryanair, who mugged me to the tune of €40 last Friday, and[...]
Day Five :: Building things…
Sunday 5th June. 16:40. So I slept late today, and deliberately so because I had a very poor night’s sleep.[...]
I Went To a Buddhist Retreat and All I Got Was This Lousy Sense of Spiritual Inferiority
I have been back from the weekend retreat for less than 24 hours and I’m already stressed, miserable, broke and[...]