My name is Karl Webster and this is my website. If it has an unfinished air about it, this is almost certainly due to the fact that it's not finished. There's still an awful lot to do. That banner's got to go for a start. And where are these goddamn guides?

Easy now. Pretty soon though, you will find fortnightly 'How to'-style guides as well as surprisingly regular film reviews, sadly seldom interviews with interesting people about important things and lots of stuff that excites me a great deal and therefore, you never know - you never, never know - may excite you too. There will also be a fortnightly newsletter that will feature personal words that will not appear anywhere else. You should sign up for that below. I'll be self-publishing a handful of books later this year if you want to know the truth, so I'm growing a list. It's the done thing. And it makes sense. So do sign up, and I promise I'll do my best to make it a pleasurable experience. Because I love you. 


Everything split into manageable chunks

The Guides

Maybe you already know how to complain, apologise, defeat the Nazis and get off an escalator. But do you know how to cure back pain, defeat sociopaths, defeat silverfish, fall in love and achieve immortality? Well, I do. Don't ask me how. Just say yes.

Cineville

In Amsterdam, where I live, there is something called Cineville, which allows me - for a trifling €19 a month - to go to the cinema as much as I like. So I go a lot. And I write about it - not just the films but the whole experience. If you love films, Yul Brynner. Join me.​

The Blog

I've been keeping a blog for around 12 years, on and off, and you know what? I really enjoy it. In the past, I was always hoping it would turn into something else - now I do it entirely for my own pleasure, and of course, for yours. Your pleasure is my pleasure. Step inside...

Books

Here's where I keep all the many (both) books that I've written that I'm actually proud of. By the end of 2017, it'll be slightly more impressive. There are three more completed (or on the very cusp of completion). I shall be publishing them myself this year. This is the build-up. Check it.

Hire Me

I do copywriting of the most top rank at The Best Words Online. I specialise in words for websites but I can write whatever you'd like me to write. I also translate Italian words into English and I sometimes teach the English language to foreigners and footballers. Read more.

FAQs

If you have questions, and I should hope that you do, then you should visit this page, for there are answers herein. If you don't have questions, this is still the page you need to visit, for their are questions to spare. Of course I don't claim to have all the answers, just some of them


As featured in...

These are just a handful of some of the publications and media outlets in and on which I have been featured, no matter how tenuously. Displaying them in this ostentatious manner is called 'social proof' and it is most assuredly not the behaviour of a desperate man. Look! Grazia! Oh my god, the Daily Mail. 



Here is a random selection of posts from the past few years. Dip in...

Feedback Friday Sunday :: Soft in the Middle
work completed :: 4 copywriting jobs (1 whopper) / 1 hour of teaching hours of Dutch learning :: 4ish (poor[...]
Turn and Face the Strange
Hello, you lovely, lovely bastard. I haven't blogged for a while. You may have noticed. This is because - aside[...]
I Am In Krakow
I arrived here on Wednesday I think, and I leave in around two hours. It's been great. The festival was[...]
Dear Twitter… (83 Days)
A few days ago I showed a friend the finished proposal for this project. She emailed back: ‘There are way[...]
Day Six :: Water (and wine)
Monday 6th June. 00:15 (7th) I am writing this next to the fire out back. The fire is in the[...]
Deconstructing Dorothy :: How The Wizard of Oz Has Completely Lost the Plot
In June 2014, a guy called Tom Murphy cut the film Star Wars into single word chunks and then arranged each word[...]