The Amsterdam Good Murder Guide :: Hard Launch on the Rokin

Yesterday was something of a self-publishing milestone for me.

Drum roll…

The Amsterdam Good Murder Guide is now for sale in Scheltema, one of the Netherlands’ oldest, largest, most prestigious bookshops.

And it feels good.

As it happens, books I’ve written have been in shops before, but never with my real name on them. I was Graham Pond for six years, and then I was Stan Cattermole for another three. They both wrote books too, the scoundrels. Anyway, this time it’s just me and you know what? It feels better.

Also different this time: I’m doing everything myself. All of the decisions that need to be made are made by me. Not by some — no disrespect — soulless toothless suit at a publisher or agency who probably couldn’t give a toss about the book in question. This is my baby. And all of my choices. From cover to price to blurb to every last word inside and out. And part of the process is owning up to what I cannot do, then sourcing and paying trustworthy affordable experts to do it for me. There have been fuck-ups along the way, of course there have, and there will be even greater fuck-ups ahead, I have no doubt, but I’m getting there. Slowly, but surely, I’m getting there.

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Incidentally, the Scheltema connection is particularly poignant because every single time I go to work, ever since the very first day I started working as a walking tour guide in Amsterdam in July 2018, I lock my bike up outside of that very bookshop. For five years now, give or take COVID, I’ve been watching Scheltema’s windows change with the seasons, watching the bestsellers come and go, and dreaming, somewhere quietly in the back of my mind, dreaming that one day, as long as I just keep putting the hours in…

Not that I’m in the window just yet. They’ve only taken a few copies at first, to test the market. Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe Amsterdam isn’t ready for the novel that some people are calling “an Unparalleled Masterpiece of Modern Literature”. Well, this is where you come in…

If you’re in Amsterdam and you haven’t yet bought a copy of The Amsterdam Good Murder Guide — maybe because you despise Amazon with all of your heart — then get yourself along to Scheltema, between the National Monument and the Two Immovable Heads…

It’s just there on the Rokin, in case you didn’t know already…

Or else give them a call or send them an email. Details here, where it says Winkelinformatie.

If you’ve already enjoyed a copy of tAGMuG, maybe you’d like to gift a copy to a friend or random significant human. Don’t be shy. Show you care with the gift of great literature.

And hey, if you’re not in Amsterdam, you can ask in your local bookstore anyway, no matter where you are, and they should be able to order it for you.

So.

Here we are. We have entered the marketing phase.

Deep breath.

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