Published by Collins in 2009, and then again a year later, Bête de Jour was actually a novel masquerading as a memoir, hence the pseudonym. As you can see, it had two titles, one in hardback, one in paperback.

Neither made a massive impact on the book-reading world, but the book was generally very well-received by those who read it. Here are a few of the most impressive-sounding reviews…

‘Fave book of the year. Ace… I laughed lots and cried twice.’– Dave Gorman

‘Glorious. Brutal, tragic, funny.’– Rhodri Marsden

‘…one of the most exciting new literary talents of 2009.’– London Lite

‘Cattermole has been described as one of the hottest literary talents of 2009. And his book is every bit as good as his blog….’– Sky News

‘…I enjoy reading Stan Cattermole’s writing as much as I enjoy Mark Twain and Charles Dickens and Kurt Vonnegut. In fact, I have rarely read anything more painfully humorous and delightfully moving.’– Sugar Cain

Here are a few snippets from the Amazon reviews too, just for fun…

‘Stan Cattermole’s memoir is an enormous, red, throbbing weapon of mass delectation. Stan has been my constant companion during the past 48 hours on the train, in bed, in the bath. Hell, you don’t even have to read it, just lay it on your most sensitive erogenous zone (the funny bone in my case) and await nirvana … Cattermole is a clever, clever wordsmith, and he deploys his mighty weapon with great skill. He also does proper swearing, a talent I greatly admire. Buy several copies of this book immediately, go forth and spread the word.’

‘Stan’s honesty throughout is astounding. It’s nice to read a book by someone who is willing to lay themselves bare. Though for the most part it had me giggling away to myself there were moments where I had to wipe the tears from my eyes.’

‘Stan Cattermole the writer is immensely talented and The Intimate Adventures of an Ugly Man is sheer delight – it will leave you wanting more. Stan Cattermole the underdog, however, seems to possess the kind of beauty that really only exists in truly beautiful people, and may he some day find someone worthy of him.’

‘Beautifully crafted and practically impossible to put down, you’ll find yourself with Stan on a journey that will have you laughing out loud while wiping away tears of sadness – and then laughing out loud again. And although the book is certainly sexy, the profound climax of the book has nothing to do with sex. But it will move you. I’m not surprised Stan’s been described as a major new writing talent. His offering here is proof indeed that you can’t judge a book simply by its cover.’


Published by me in February 2013, The Lives and Loves of Hana Lee was well-received, but only by a handful of people.

Here are some of the things people said:

‘Loved this book….Everything about it was totally unexpected. Clever, dark, romantic and very, very funny! I would recommend this to all…except die hard Sarah Palin fans.’

‘A truly original and thought provoking book. I read it in one and then read it again, just to be sure I hadn’t missed anything.’

‘Brilliant characters, a gripping plot and a lot of sex, all tied together by a gifted author … I found myself unable to resist being sucked into Hana’s world, this book had me looking forward to my commutes … and I missed my train stop on two occasions.’

‘I loved this book. LOVED … The author writes beautifully. The fact that the storyline was crazy enough to be a delight is merely an added bonus. You will race through this book. It is a fantastic read.’

‘Sexy, smart and wickedly funny. A very good idea, written very well.’

‘A very good read. Strong characters, very good plot. I was hooked immediately. Very interesting take on sexual politics – both very current and historical. And lots of sex.’

There are quite a few more too, but because the novel was self-published and not picked up by any established press, the reviewers are people you’ve never heard of and therefore unlikely to sway you. I even know one or two of them personally, so I completely understand your trepidation. If you’re even slightly curious, however, you can read the first fifth for free here on Smashwords.

The book is available on Amazon, Smashwords, Goodreads and iTunes.…

COMING IN 2017....

* Lying Dogs, a novel
* The Little Book of Shame, a memoir
* An As Yet Untitled Compendium of Hilarity, a compendium of hilarity (as yet untitled)

...and (if everything goes well and I find more time than there actually is in a year) much, much more!