You have got to be kidding me. Even the goddamn FAQs are not ready. This website is like one of those half-built houses that spring up in the south of Italy and just sit there, looking half-dressed and embarrassed. It's an absolute farce.

But not to worry, they'll be along soon enough and you can bet your bones that when do arrive, they'll be hilarious and informative in equal measure. So please stop whining. Thanks. 

In the meantime, if you have any FAQs you need answering, here's your chance...