work completed :: 17 copywriting jobs / 1 scriptwriting job / 2 hours of teaching
ongoing jobs :: 1 apparently stalled copywriting job / my life
hours of Dutch learning :: 2 hours. I have found an online course. It’ll do for now. I’ve also been glancing through some children’s books. Dutch is kind of on hold though. There are more pressing matters.
physical exercise :: 6 gym visits / 2 back routines / lots of cycling
metaphysical exercise :: 10 metaphysical gym visits
weight lost :: Another pound or two. Despite my slavish devotion to the gym of late, I still have 8 pounds to lose in the next 12 days. Piece of cake.
routine adhesion :: 70%. Not the routine I would like, but some kind of routine.
money owed to Donald Trump :: none
consecutive days spent in Holland :: 79
week 33/52 overall rating :: 7/10. I am beginning to get antsy about finding somewhere to live. I don’t have much time. This fact is beginning to endarken my days – only very slightly, but the time has come to take control of the situation.
A couple of months ago I posted a list of 21 reasons why anyone with some space going spare in Amsterdam should definitely consider me as a flatmate or tenant. One of the people who read the list knew someone in De Pijp who was about to come into a little space for a couple of months, so they put me in touch and I moved in here in July.
Now, with September fast approaching, I need to find myself somewhere more permanent.
So my plan over the next few days is fivefold:
1. Update the list of reasons and send it to everyone I know in Amsterdam – on the off-chance.
2. Write a series of cards advertising my specialness and post them around all of the supermarkets in the areas of the city in which I would most like to live. On the off-chance.
3. Delve a little more deeply into vacant property specialists. There is something called antikraak here, which sees people renting out empty spaces so that they don’t get squatted. It’s generally cheap but slightly precarious, as you can be asked to move out with 28 days’ notice. That risk aside, the tenancy period is a minimum of six months. I like the sound of it, frankly, but it seems you have to be officially registered here before you can sign up to these agencies. And you can’t get registered if you don’t have an official address. So you see. There’s a catch.
4. Delve a little more deeply into the whole estate agent thing. I’m resisting for now. There are a lot of rules and regulations when it comes to things like housing in Holland, and it seems that agencies don’t like people without fixed incomes.
5. Walk around the red light area, looking up, stopping only to stare wistfully at one particular attic flat, on the fourth floor, with an open window and a diaphonous purple curtain flapping faintly in a warm breeze. Hear a voice. ‘Hey, you.’ Turn to the voice and see a woman with short black hair smiling. ‘I see what’s on your mind,’ she says. She has a French accent. Say nothing. ‘I see you looking at my home. What if I said I have a spare room, up there on the fourth floor, where you were just looking, wistfully. Would that be of interest to you?’ Look back at the woman. Realise that it is Audrey Tautou. Think about it for a moment. Move in.
So. Hopefully this time next week, something amazing will have happened.
Have a grand one.