Dear Twitter… (83 Days)

A few days ago I showed a friend the finished proposal for this project. She emailed back: ‘There are way too many words down there. Way too many. Put your case in 100 words or prepare to fail.’ I was a bit upset by this, particularly as she hadn’t even bothered to read it. But then, maybe she had a point. Maybe, as it stood, most people wouldn’t read it.

So I gave it a shot. A 100-word pitch.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get very far. Instead, contemplating concision, I became sidetracked by thoughts of Twitter. What if I told people about the project in 140-character bursts instead? Might not that be as good a way as any to get the ball rolling? I decided it might. So I wrote it all up and set aside a day. The day was today. I’ve been tweeting for the last couple of hours. I’m just about finished. Below is the full ‘tweetscript’. (Ugh.)


  • Dear Twitter. I recently had an idea for a life-changing adventure. I am going to tell you about it now. Gather. #fete11
  • My aim is to visit 80 separate festivals in 60-ish countries in the space of one year. My aim is to begin on January 31st 2011. #fete11
  • The project is currently called ‘How To Be Free :: Around the World In 80 Celebrations’. #fete11
  • Whether it happens or not, the title will almost certainly change. #fete11
  • It *will* happen. #fete11
  • I will participate in gatherings where music, creativity, competition, desire, devotion & above all freedom are celebrated. #fete11

Holi – a festival of colour

  • At present I have a list of around 100 potential events. It works out at 1.3 festivals a week for a year. So: part endurance… #fete11
  • …part hectic journey into the heart of human happiness – discovering how disparate people all over the world let go & live… #fete11
  • There will be blood. There will be music. There will be worship. There will be small Japanese men wrestling in loin-cloths. #fete11
  • There will be bulls, tomatoes, wine & nudity. There will be fireworks, burning men & aurora borealis. There will be a website. #fete11

La Tomatina – a festival of tomato-based aggressiveness

  • It will be a highly participatory affair. I will carry a phallus when required to do so…

Hounen Matsuri – Respect the Cock

…& I will skewer my face at Thaipusam. #fete11

Thaipusam – a festival of faith (and sadism)

  • I will talk to people as I go. I will get to know them & I will film them & write about them. It will be fucking brilliant. #fete11
  • Cheers! #fete11

  • No, wait! There is a little more. Specifically, the ever-pressing muzzle of cold, hard reali Oh, what a ball-ache! #fete11
  • The first question is usually: ‘Who’s going to pay for that?’ This is a very, very, *very* good question. #fete11
  • I for one am skint. #fete11
  • I guess the ideal answer is a) people with an interest in the project (and money) & b) the people who own the means… #fete11
  • E.g. travel companies, festival organisers & sponsors. Primarily. If they were onboard, it’d be a doddle. #fete11
  • Beyond that – & actually probably a much better answer – is that I really haven’t a clue. But for the moment, balls to money. #fete11
  • I have 83 days to make it happen. I have given up my job & my flat & I’ve made a rough schedule. But in truth, I am ill-prepared. #fete11
  • However, I don’t have time for editors to decide whether they like the idea or not. I like the idea. So I must begin it. #fete11
  • If you like the idea too & would like to see it happen, letting other people know would – I’m sure – oil the wheels of Providence. #fete11
  • But what I really need is feedback & ideas. Who should I talk to? Who should I approach for funding? How can I make this happen? #fete11
  • I’ve got a list of my own but I’m not good at that stuff, so any thoughts at all would be massively appreciated. #fete11
  • I’m afraid the time has come to rise above the fear of coming across as a ceaselessly self-publicising louse, & self-publicise. #fete11
  • I need to plug myself at every opportunity. And not in a good way. #fete11
  • If you have thoughts of more than 140 characters, please get in touch here: karlpwebster at gmail dot com. #fete11
  • I’ve also created a hashtag. You may have noticed it. It’s here: #fete11 If you tweet anything pertinent, maybe you can use it. #fete11
  • Finally, there will be those among you thinking, ‘Why on earth should I do anything to help you go on holiday for year?’ #fete11
  • Well… #fete11
  • There are many answers to that question. But you already know them. You’re free to do what you want. Any old time. #fete11
  • Oh, there will also be a charity element. You can sponsor me. Or make me do things for money. DEC is my charity of choice. #fete11
  • Apologies for the timeline onslaught, & thanks for reading if you did. If you want to help immediately…. #fete11
  • …Please Retweet: Affable chap has 83 days to arrange year-long tour of 80 festivals: #fete11
  • Or words to that effect. #fete11
  • By the way, I found this quote at exactly the right time:


This may sound too simple, but is great in consequence. Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: ‘Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!’

WH MURRAY #fete11



About the Author

I am Karl Webster. I wrote these words. If you liked them, you'll be overjoyed to know that there are plenty more where they came from. So you should definitely sign up to my newsletter if you haven't already.

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