Split :: Predictable, Silly, Gratuitous Shit

Review contains some spoilers, but it's the kind of film it's impossible to spoil. It's a pre-spoilt film.

Split gets off to a tense start as three teenage girls are kidnapped by James McAvoy sporting a skinhead. The girls are locked in a room together. Two are popular girls, spoilt if not horribly unpleasant. One is the withdrawn, weird girl who's actually much more interesting and who, we gradually discover in flashbacks, was abused by her uncle (boo!) but trained in the art of survival by her father (hurray!).

We also fairly quickly discover that James McAvoy suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder — or, if you will, 'split personality' — as we're introduced to the five or six of his most prominent 23 different personalities.

So the film is a psycho-thriller along the lines of 'will they get away or will he do horrible things to them?' or, as appears likely from the very opening scenes, 'will he eventually do horrible things to the two spoilt, popular ones while the damaged outsider manages to get away?' (Yes, that.)

Cineville - Split


It's mostly predictable, and wholly very silly, and very disappointingly, because one of McAvoy's personalities has a fetish for teenage girls in their underwear, there are a lot of totally gratuitous scenes featuring teenage girls in their underwear. Which is just a bit embarrassing really. In this day and age.

It's a film that becomes increasingly ridiculous, increasingly grisly and gratuitous, then — even worse — just gets boring.

The worst thing about it, however, is the introduction of the 24th personality, who is apparently some kind of supervillain. Actually, the absolute worst thing about it is how it's set up for a sequel.

In a world of finite resources … just, no. One Split is enough.

Actually, no, that's not quite right. One Split is one Split too many.

Oh, and Bruce Willis sitting at a bar in the final scene is just irritating.

Having said all that, James McAvoy is brilliant. Albeit totally and utterly wasted. 


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Cineville - Split


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The Viewing

In the old days, people used to dress up nice before going to the cinema. I often arrive looking like I've come off my meds.

Sometimes I think I should make more of an effort.

After arriving tonight, I was looking for a pen in the side pocket of my backpack and instead I found a plastic tub full of used cat litter. A gift for my mouse but wouldn't it be funny, I thought, if somehow my tub of cat litter had opened and I'd spilt the contents all over the cinema floor, in front of everyone. Yes, everyone.

Ha ha ha.

I need to sort my shit out.

About the Author

I am Karl Webster. I wrote these words. If you liked them, you'll be overjoyed to know that there are plenty more where they came from. So you should definitely sign up to my newsletter if you haven't already.

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