Rogue One: A Star Wars Story :: I Am Bored With the Force…

Cineville - Rogue One

So I ended up seeing Rogue One twice, two days in a row, and for two reasons. First, because I liked it a lot more than I expected to, and second, because I fell asleep. Only for a little while but long enough for me to feel that I owed it to the film to see it again, properly.

Sadly, the second time, I didn't like it as much. I managed to stay awake for the whole thing but I realised it was just an ocean of clichés and ultimately pretty uninspiring. Plus, far too much fighting and nowhere near enough wit. 

Also, now, a couple of weeks later when I'm finally getting round to writing the review, I can remember very little about it. All I really have to go on are a few really badly scrawled notes. I really must get one of those pens with a little torch in the end.

Cineville - Rogue One

Here's what I can make out from my notes: One of the Rebel Alliance has a strong French accent that makes every bit of dialogue he utters sound totally ridiculous. For me it's just a whisker away from Inspector Clouseau. I found myself sniggering a little, especially when he tries to say 'Saw Gerrera'.

Stormtroopers smalltalk could do with a little polish.

The best thing about it - something that I enjoyed very much on both viewings - was the religious element, as exemplified by the character of the blind monk-warrior, Chirrut ÎmweI.

Cineville - Rogue One

I loved his faith, as revealed through his chanting throughout the film, 'The Force is with me. I am one with the Force.' And I loved the resistance to his faith on the part of certain other characters.

Another thing I really enjoyed (both times around but particularly the first) was the fact that not everything was tied up with a big happy bow at the end.

What I have also realised though, is that one's enjoyment of films such as Star Wars and Harry Potter and other franchise behemoths, depends entirely on the extent to which one is able to invest in the worlds in which they exist. The extent to which one is convinced, I guess. With me, the extent is pretty much zero.

So there we are. Not quite my tempo. 


Cineville - Rogue One
Cineville - Rogue One


The Viewings

I'm here in the midst of a rowdy-Friday-evening-just-before-Christmas crowd. Lots of kids with their parents - young kids too. A few couples. Lots of excited chatter. So much in fact that I can hardly hear the really depressing Alzheimer's ad that I'm trying to understand a little more every time I see it.

I am fully expecting to hate this film, which I'm pretty sure gives me a much better chance of enjoying it.

This is my first time in this zaal by the way. Red seats, brown walls, vaguely African tribal design. Vaguely African tribal design? That's sounds so ill-informed as to be positively racist. My apologies.

The adverts are upsetting. Loud, wilfully stupid and relentlessly upbeat. So much money being tossed at such trivial shit. It just seems so obscene considering the state of the world at the moment. Then I think that I'm here to see a fucking Star Wars film for Christ's sake. A 200-million dollar video game. How can it possibly be jus- ooh, look, Trainspotting 2.

The Trainspotting trailer features a little nudity and a little drug abuse and a moment or two of peril, so I glance at the 7-year-old kid to my left, his mum sitting happily alongside him. Neither seem concerned.

This is one of the things I really love about Holland. They just don't seem at all  by things that so many English and American people are terrified of. Adult themes in film for example. In England, parents are all up in a flap about Rogue One's 12A status, wondering if their 11-year-old would be able to handle it. In Holland, they're like, What?

They even showed this in the pre-Star Wars package...

Now that is scary.

The second time I saw Rogue One, I chose to see it in 3D. I thought it might be interesting in 3D.

You live and learn.

About the Author

I am Karl Webster. I wrote these words. If you liked them, you'll be overjoyed to know that there are plenty more where they came from. So you should definitely sign up to my newsletter if you haven't already.

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