My name is Karl.
I write things.
I go places.
I meet people.
I owe money.
I love you.
Before that, I did something something slightly peculiar. I kept a blog for two and a half years in which I pretended to be physically deformed. The blog was called Bête de Jour. I then wrote a book, still pretending to be deformed.
Harper Collins published it...
And here is it again with - in a marketing move that shocked everyone - a different title...
Ricky Gervais almost bought the film rights. But then he made The Invention of Lying instead. Ah well. Never mind.
Some of the best bits…
The Ugly Truth :: Out of the Bag (CONFESSIONAL)
A Week Before Christmas :: A Festive Story In Ten and a Half Chapters (FICTION)
RAIL RAGE :: The London Underground Correspondence (CORRESPONDENCE)
Fifteen Shades of Grey :: A Digested Read (UM... REVIEW?)
Duncan Bannatyne Walks Into A Bar (JOKE)
Vincent Gaudy’s New Year’s Gift (FICTION)
Night Train (TRAVEL)
Roses in December (NOSTALGIA)
Bingo? Let's Play! (PLAYING WITH PROMOTERS)
Sex in Cyberia :: Like a Leopard On a Dove (UM... FICTION)
Of Cats and Men (FICTION)
Marsha (Yes Yes Mars… on Progress, Yo Cari Percy on Progress, Yo kpwebster on Crisis :: Opportunity Larry T on Crisis :: Opportunity kpwebster on Day One #16,709 kpwebster on Day One #16,709 kpwebster on Day One #16,709 Marsha (Yes Yes Mars… on Day One #16,709 purpaboo on Day One #16,709 Grym on Day One #16,709
Category Archives: Limousin
Saturday December 1st I received a comment on a blog post recently. It was left by someone calling himself ‘P****d off man’. Here it is here… I am not meaning to be rude to you, but perhaps you … Continue reading
Monday November 19th. 17:13 The electrician is looking for good earth, and for good earth he has to dig. I help him. My back hurts. It feels like I’ve been digging for days. In actual fact I have been digging … Continue reading
I am sitting on a porcelain toilet that’s been dumped on a busy Parisian street. I am smoking a cigarette and posing for a photograph. It seems like exactly the right thing to do. My host is amused by my … Continue reading
Monday 12th November, 2012. 12:55 I should be somewhere over France now, preparing to descend. Instead I’m heading back into London in an almighty fug. Missing my flight back to Limoges was nobody’s fault but my own. I recognise that … Continue reading
Monday 16th October, 2012 The first stage of the Operation Power was completed sometime in the past few days. I wasn’t here. I was elsewhere, on a roof. The advance payment on the second stage has been made. Things are … Continue reading
Sunday 7th October, 2012. 11:18 I woke up this morning – da naa na na – not feeling tired. This is unusual. I can’t actually remember the last time I woke up not feeling tired. I even felt like doing … Continue reading
There is currently a campaign afoot to persuade Dominic Mohan, editor of The Sun, to stop featuring photographs of naked young women in the newspaper. There have been campaigns in the past of course, and they have failed, but this … Continue reading
Sunday 16 September I’m sitting on one end of a stretch of cemetery wall, writing in a notebook. Horses huddle under nearby trees for shade and snort, sick as pigs as flies cloud their eyes like tiny demons. There is … Continue reading
Monday 10 September. 20:40 I’m just back from a weekend full of friends and frolics and lakes and larks and I’m sitting next to a broken mirror watching the last of the bald mice flap about above me. It’s almost … Continue reading
I am not interested in the Olympics. Not one bit. But these Olympic stick men amuse me. They are in Nantiat. Up the road. Vive la France!