A Stretch In Limousin – RSVP

Two years ago this month, possessed by Stan and full of semi-fictions, I watched Pollyanna for the first time since I was a kid. And do you know what? It changed me. Maybe just for a bit. Or maybe forever. Or maybe not at all. Maybe it was just something convenient on which to hang a timely spurt of positive thinking. Well, I’m having another spurt, and this time I’m hanging it on January 31st.

So. My sister has a friend who is blind in one eye as the result of a stroke. The same lady also has fibromyalgia, an irregular heartbeat and to cap it all, a couple of weeks ago, she died. Thankfully, she was brought back to life, but still. The same lady’s husband, incidentally, who has also had a stroke, and is also blind in one eye, is also diabetic. As my sister was telling me about all of this yesterday afternoon, I experienced a palpable wave of gratitude. At first I feared that I too was having a stroke. But it was gratitude. And it got me thinking, and it got me counting my blessings. So I thought I might count them in public.

• I’m glad I have my health. Well, relatively. I do have chronic back problems, receding gums, athlete’s foot, haemorrhoids, ear wax and acute hypochondria. But nothing debilitating. And I’m hopefully borrowing a bicycle while I’m up here, so, if I put my mind to it, I can be Zeus by Christmas.
• I’m glad I never have to go back to Sunderland ever again. This is my first extended visit to see my mum since she moved to Mansfield from Sunderland in July, and I have to say, I like it here. The people here seem far less embittered, aggressive, miserable and hopeless. But maybe that’s just me. No, I don’t think it is. Not entirely. Sunderland is short-tempered, and the young people in the street are invariably mean. I don’t think that’s true down here. And the accents are much sweeter. Also – and this definitely helps – old ladies keep calling me ‘duck’.
• Speaking of Mansfield, I’m glad yesterday was a beautiful day and I went with my mum and sister to a place called Vicar Water.

• And I’m glad that someone chose build a sculpture of a giant golden hand coming out of the earth. Look at it!

• I’m glad I was able to get closer too…

You know, I reckon this is one of the most wonderful sculptures I’ve ever seen…

Moving on…

• I’m glad I’m getting closer to my family.
• I’m glad that my incontinence remains for now an amusing exaggeration.
• (I’m glad that it amuses me at least.)
• I’m glad I booked a place on a Buddhist retreat at the end of the month.
• Now – there’s no way of saying this without teasing a smirk and eye-roll from the more cynical amongst you, so I’ll just come out and say it: I’m glad I’ve found God.

That’s right.

God.

OK, I haven’t really found God. I’m sorry. I misled you. But the truth is that lots of things in my life are pointing me inside at the moment. So I intend to put some work in on my inner life. Man. And it’s not just because I’m reading Eat Pray Love, I promise.

• I’m glad I have a plan B and know that whatever happens, I’m leaving the country on January 31st, 2011. (Unless death or impending death steps up to prove me wrong.)
• I’m glad I have a plan A that I’m going to tell you about tomorrow.
• Also, I’m really glad I don’t have to leave the house today. It’s miserable out there.

What about you? What are you glad about?

So. I have decided that on January 31st, 2011, I am going to leave this country and go on an adventure. This leaves me 87 days to iron out the details. That’s not a very attractive number, but I refuse to let that put me off.

Now, the first step is to decide what I’m doing. Fortunately, I do have a plan. Unfortunately, it is quite an outrageous plan and although I am full to bursting with Goethe and good vibrations, I feel obliged to confess that it probably won’t come to fruition. OR WILL IT? Well, I don’t know. But it’s time to get on and find out. Almost.

So later today I’m leaving London for a few weeks to stay with various family members. After the weekend, I’m going to start talking (to EVERYONE) about this project and trying to get other people interested. Because I will need help. And if it doesn’t come off, I do have a back-up plan, which isn’t quite so outrageous, but will do.

In the meantime, I leave you with this quote which someone showed me on Monday night. They showed me this quote quite by chance, because they too had recently been shown it by someone else, but it was good timing. You might almost say it was providence. It’s by Goethe:

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and endless plans:

That the moment one definitely commits oneself then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never have otherwise occurred.

A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

Begin it now.

These words for me ring entirely true.

As for my own project, I actually began it at the end of August, but I’ll be beginning it properly on Monday. And whatever happens, in 87 days’ time, something will happen, and that, in itself, is good enough for me.

PS Ooh, while I was finishing up this blog post just now, I received an email with the subject heading ‘Fwd: Quote falsely attributed to Goethe’. Turns out that the stirring words above were actually written by Scottish mountaineer WH Murray. Why, even Wikipedia knows it. And now, if you didn’t already, so do you. Have a lovely weekend. I kiss your face.